Reframe

I always catch myself thinking that publishing my work online means it isn’t legit, or that journalling is self-indulgent. I scrunch my nose up when people assume that I write about all the details of my day, and I force myself to clarify, “no, I’m not that type of writer”. I flinch when I see the word “I” on the page, and I instantly erase any sentences that start with “okay, so, this morning…”

But, to be honest, I don’t know why I do this any more. It’s elitist and silly to try to force myself into the mould of what I think a writer looks like when, in fact, I believe much more deeply that anyone who can tell a story is a writer. For years I’ve been afraid that if I try to be a writer - if I call myself that word, that label that I so desperately desire - and then I never end up publishing anything, I’ll have failed myself.

What an honest to god joke.

Being a teacher doesn’t mean you have to be in a school. Being an adventurer doesn’t mean you have to be on the move. Being a friend doesn’t mean that you have to see each other every day. And being a writer damn well doesn’t mean you have to publish a novel.

This thing that I’m afraid of, this beast of failure, is a creature that I invented for myself out of doubt. And I refuse to give it any more strength.

That being said, I’m going to take this year to reframe how I see the world. In a challenging time, I’ll try to evaluate from a new perspective. When success isn’t apparent the first time around, I’ll ask myself what it actually looks like. When people ask me who I am, I’ll tell them I’m a writer.